Battles no one talks about...

It all starts with a small doubt, it lingers in your mind for a little while. You brush it off as if it's nothing. You are lucky if you are successful in the first few tries. If not, you slowly start getting absolved in it. So slowly you won't even notice. Then it gets imbibed so deeply, you start feeling like home. You start believing this is what defines you. You start overthinking every little thing. You still don't recognize it.  But one day, you overreact. You hurt someone. You start defending yourself, you get aggressive. However, in reality, you are deeply saddened and disappointed with yourself. You practice deep breaths. That helps for a while. But the anxiety that has grappled you so strongly creeps in in no time. You are unable to think clearly, constantly battling between your emotions. You think and think and think more. The picture is still unclear. You are about to jump in the shit puddle of self pity. Until someone saves you. A belief, a friend, a faith. Call it anything. You tell yourself to stop connecting the dots. You tell that a thousand times before you actually stop. You take it one step at a time. Acceptance. You refuse to believe this is what defines you. You decide to change your definition. From an anxious, confused, arrogant coward to an accepting, loving and brave fighter. Only half the battle is won. Actions. Next step is habits. You change one small thing each day. You start seeing things from a different perspective. You be persistent. Adrenaline rush generally helps. You keep working, running and dancing. As you progress you find the smile returning back to your beautiful face. You start seeing things clearly. You analyze yourself and the situation. You right your wrongs, apologize to the people you hurt. You turn your life around and finally you are at peace!